Sunday, July 22, 2007

Sad For No Reason?

Today, I'm just sad. Do you ever feel sad for no reason? I'm not terribly upset or anything. I just feel sad. It's strange but normal, I'm sure.

I had a good weekend. Friday, I spent the entire day with my grandparents. It was their 60Th Wedding Anniversary so all the kids and grand kids surprised them. We were all picked up in a limousine at their house and taken to The Spirit of Norfolk for a wonderful Lunch cruise. We danced, ate WAY too much and enjoyed the view from our table. My grandparents said they'd never forget their 60Th Anniversary. I know I won't either. It was so nice to just sit back and relax for a moment. Just watching the water was calming.

Saturday, I went to Weight Watchers and found out I gained 2.2 pounds!! I wasn't surprised after my Friday of Celebrating and eating. Then, I went to the hospital to see our Pa Pa and spent the rest of the day at my Aunt's. We had a yummy lunch and while she ran errands, I sat with our Granny. She took a nice nap and I read my Weight Watchers magazine I had brought with me. Our Aunt Ellen takes such good care of her parents. I don't know how she does it but somehow, she always has everything perfect for them and they're so lucky to be in her care.

Please continue to pray for our Pa Pa. He will probably be in the hospital for a couple more days and could really use the prayers. He's better today, talking more but his kidneys are shutting down. They aren't working properly and Saturday he got his first Dialysis. I don't know all the details of his symptoms and care. We just want him better. He means so much to us.

We ate a quick dinner on the way home and stopped by to look at mattresses. My box spring broke and that and the Mattress are about ready to go!! I'm not sure how many more restless night I'm going to be able to stand...

Sunday, we skipped church since I had been gone all of Saturday and saw Spider man 3 with Hunter and Mike. It was great!! I had promised Hunter we'd see it soon and it was worth the wait. I love that series!!

I guess I'm probably down because my "friend" came today and I had really hoped it wouldn't. My hubby and I have been trying for a second child for over a year and a half now. I know it takes time and you shouldn't worry about it but I still do. Now, I'm just concerned that something might be wrong. We love our son so much and if it's God's Will for him to be our only child than that's OK. I'd just really like for him to have a sibling like I did to argue with (hope not much, anyway) and to protect. Every month that that friend comes into our life, my husband just hugs me and says it will be OK. So, I'm praying about his will to be done.

We played with Hunter tonite and read several books. He enjoyed sitting on my lap and leaning back on me while I read to him. He feels SO good when he does that. I felt bad I didn't see him that much yesterday but I think today MORE than made up for it!!
Maybe I'm just tired too. I wanted to work on some scrap booking or scanning some layouts in so I could post them on Two Peas.

I would just like to learn so much and get back into being creative. I would love to know how to use the scanner without getting help from my hubby. I'd love to know how to work with my photos in Photo shop and make them into beautiful works of art. I know that I'm not very talented but I'd love to feel like I'm good at something.

I feel like there are PEOPLE in my life who constantly think I'm copying them and striving to be better than them and it hurts alot to think that because it's just not true. I shouldn't worry about what others think of me when they've practically written me off anyway but I do care and still love them no matter what. I think I'm babbling about things I can't control so I should think positive. But, does that mean I'm not REAL? I try to have a positive attitude about life. If you reflect on the bad things that are going on, don't you feel down alot more? I'm just TIRED of having my name slandered in public and on the web.

I don't need sympathy or people feeling sorry for me. I certainly don't want everyone looking at me and have to be the center of attention. It would be nice to know that people care sometimes and that I make a difference in people's lives. I'm not a terrible "in law" relative, KWIM?

I hope everyone has a wonderful week. I think I'm going to try to do that myself.


Benita said...

{{{Jenn}}} Just wanted to send you some hugs. I'll be saying a prayer for your PaPa & also for you.

Robin said...

Jenn you mean the world to me. And I don't believe you need to change at all. If you try to be someone you are not you will fail, but if you stay true to who you are you can only succeed!!!! You are the best friend anyone could ask for. You are kind and caring, thoughtful and for those others (no names mentioned)it is their loss. Keep your head up....

Colleen said...

Thinking of you and your family. We all have those days that are just a little down. I say try and take some time for yourself - my blog topic today actually!

Lorrie said...

I'm sorry you feel like I'm slandering you. I'm not. I speak the truth. I'm sorry you're feeling sad. But the truth is, if you wanted a to see a change in our relationship, why is it YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN TRIED? Never. I've tried so many times in the past. You totally reject me. Of course that makes me angry. And I'm tired of hiding it. This is a big part of my life, even though I don't like it, and I'm not dwelling on the negative by talking to friends about it. I am NOT slandering you by telling the truth about our relationship to my online friends, regardless of what you claim. If you don't want anyone to know the truth, then lets change the situation and try to heal "US". Just because I mention the troubles in my family, doesn't mean that I am slandering you.

Lorrie said...

I just want to add that this afternoon, AFTER I posted the earlier comment, Jenn and I spoke for the first time in over a year. I mean, we really talked, and are in the process of healing our relationship. =)